Life in the Autoimmune Lane

Posted By Michelle on February 17, 2010

Fractured, LITAL©2010

Infinity.  I know that this is totally random, but when I got on tonight to post, I noticed this icon that I have probably seen a million times and never bothered to see what it was.  So I clicked it, and it’s a dialog box for custom characters.  The first thing I see is the infinity sign because my cursor was hovering over it when I opened it. Second thing is there are symbols for the suits of cards-diamonds, hearts, and clubs. No spade. Where is the spade?  It is by far the coolest suit when it comes to cards.  Huh.  (note to self, edit the hell out of this, you are sleep deprived.)

Infinity kind of ties in with what has been on my mind lately.  I don’t feel like me anymore.  The old me, I guess.  That’s my problem.  It’s been almost 4 years since I became sick and I am realizing I am just not me anymore.  Or am I?  Has being chronically ill, or finally accepting that I will always be sick changed me?  For sure I am different when it comes to the things that I can and can’t do.  It’s like night and day.  If I knew that I would become sick like this, oh man.  I would have appreciated life so much more.  All the little things, like sitting on the floor with the Bean. Being able to get out of bed and hop in the shower.  Walking, anywhere.  Riding in the car for more than a half an hour.  Driving.  Movement, I never ever thought about illness, I never thought I would have to think so much about movement.  At this point in time, I am unable to do the simplest things, it is so frustrating. I’m angry.  Did I say coming to terms somewhere up above?  Let’s say there’s different levels of coming to terms with it.  Right now I’m at the basement level; I’m aiming for the sky, penthouse please.

Pity party is over now, grab your coat and get the heck outta here!  I’ll clean up the mess, tomorrow is ALWAYS a brand new day.

Category: Life | 6 Comments »
Tags: Autoimmune blog, Autoimmune disease, Chronic Illness Blog, chronic pain, depression, Life, whining

Posted By Michelle on February 4, 2010

I like this PSA.  I think the doc is coolio.

Enjoy,

I’ll be back,

Category: Advocacy, Autoimmunity, Health, videos | 2 Comments »
Tags: Arthritis, Arthritis Foundation, Autoimmunity, autoimmunity blog, Chronic Illness Blog, doctors, Health, RA, rheumatoid arthritis, video

Posted By Michelle on January 19, 2010

The Nugget. She approves!

I’m considering a total ‘do over’ as my grandkids say.  I want to change the layout of this blog. Hmmm, I dunno… What I am doing today though, is update all my sickie links, some were broken.  I’m adding to it and also I will be doing the same for the blogroll.  It’s another I’m-stuck-in-bed-day and I sure don’t feel like doing the bills, Ha!  So I’ll be here dinkin around.

Pictured above is my lovely toothy grinned granddaughter, The Nugget!

Until next time

Category: Life | 2 Comments »
Tags: Autoimmune blog, Chronic Illness Blog, smiling baby!, the nugget, tinkering, wasting time

Posted By Michelle on January 18, 2010

My Angel!

I finally made it to see the rheumatologist at the hospital. I had to cancel my appointment a couple of weeks ago because my dad showed up at my door in a state of dementia.  I didn’t give them the reason why I had to reschedule, and they set the appointment out a few months.  I was so upset. The next day they called with an opening for the following week.  It’s unheard of there so I figure God was listening.

It wasn’t easy getting ready to go.  For the past month, maybe even two, I have been mostly horizontal.  My body is failing me in so many ways it’s hard for me to even talk about it.  I laid in bed until the last possible moment time-wise and then climbed the stairs to get in the shower.  I hate to say this or even type it but showering is near impossible for me.  I have to use a step stool to sit on, ugh, I won’t even go there.  So my and C finally get into the car and we are almost on time for the hour and fifteen minute ride.  I’m out of breath, sweating like crazy (it was about 40 degrees) and shaking.  All I wanted to do was go get back in bed and close my eyes and pray.

Minutes after meeting the doc I was hopeful.  He LISTENED to me, very important in trying to diagnose.  He asked so many relevant questions.  I felt like I was being heard for the first time in a long time.  He talked to us about the tests he was going to do and wants to see me back in 4 weeks.  I was a little surprised as I thought it was a one shot deal.  I want him as my rheumatologist and am going to ask when we go back.

Since my appointment was the last of the day, their labs and x-ray were closing down.  He actually ran to his office to put the orders in and walked us to the lab.  I have never ever seen a doc go out of his way like that.  I actually cried.  What a doofus, I know.  It felt good to have some hope.  I need answers just as much as I need some relief.

Have you ever had a doc go above and beyond?  If so, is this the norm for your specialists?

Until next time

Category: Autoimmunity, Health, Life | 12 Comments »
Tags: Autoimmune blog, Autoimmune disease, Autoimmunity, Chronic illness, Chronic Illness Blog, chronic pain, dermatomyositis, doctors, flaring, Health, Life, pain, rheumatoid arthritis, yay

Posted By Michelle on January 13, 2010

I am bed-bound at the moment and pretty darn low.  I have written and revised and rehashed a post until is was about 2 sentences long to cut out all of my whining and/or negativity as my body is really kicking the crap out of me.  I’m just going to post this awesome video about Erica.

The Arthritis Foundation has a campaign called the Power of 10.  You watch the video, forward it to 10 people, and give a gift of 10 dollars.  Let’s spread the word.  Just click on the Power of 10 link and check it out.  What a really great simple way we can all make a difference.  God Bless.

Thanks for hanging in there with me,

Category: Advocacy, Autoimmunity, Health, Life, videos | No Comments »
Tags: Advocacy, Arthritis, Arthritis Foundation, Autoimmune blog, Autoimmune disease, Chronic Illness Blog, fundraising, Health, RA, rheumatoid arthritis, sick, video