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Day: February 16, 2008

I’m still here…

I’m still here…

I haven’t posted in a couple of days. I’ve been flaring really hard and sleeping alot. A good friend of mine gave me some some really good advice, “sleep without guilt”. After these last couple of days I think I have mastered that pretty well.

Before I mastered the guiltless sleeping, I would lay down and my mind would roll on and on about all the things that need to get done. Or I would feel like I should be doing something… Why is it that when we are sick we feel guilty about it? After 2 years of living with this disease I still haven’t gotten used to the idea that I am not the same person physically. Little things like getting up and jumping into the shower are no small feat for me. I have to sit up and get my bearings, take my medicine and wait for it to kick in.  What used to be a 20 minute process is now a 2 hour chore.  It pisses me off.  I don’t ask myself why anymore, I’ll never know why I got sick.  I’m still trying to figure out how to live my days without anger.

OK, no more negativity, next post will be happy happy sunshine till you wanna barf.

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