A little privacy please

A little privacy please

Earlier today I’m sitting out back and the woman who lives in the house behind us is watching me.  I can tell because I feel that feeling you get when someone is watching you and sure enough, when I turn to look, her head disappears in her window.  I’m in my bathrobe at 4 in the afternoon with a case of the most ridiculous bedhead and I’m crying.  I see her and I wonder, what is she thinking?  Let me backtrack..

We moved into our house about 3 years ago.  Our neighborhood is an old one, houses built in the late 50’s.  Most of the residents have been here that long, some living in the houses they grew up in as kids.  There aren’t many renters here, and the turnover is almost nonexistent.  So, when we moved in there was a lot of curiousity about us.  Back then it was only the Big C and I and we were both very busy individuals.  He works 60+ hours a week and I was working two jobs.  We lived here alone for about a year, then my daughter and her daughter and my father moved in.  Our home is a tri-level with enough room for all of us.  There is a very old woman down the street who walks around the blocks almost non-stop with her dog.  I noticed that neighbors would almost run up their driveways to their doors as they saw her approach.  She would shout out, “Hi there!” before they could make it and then talk talk talk.  Whenever she saw me she would look the other way.  I found out soon after when C and I went out to dinner at the local bar & grill down the street that the old woman was telling everyone that we were drug dealers.  Ha!  We were playing pool when a couple came up to us and introduced themselves as neighbors from around the corner.  They knew who we were from our infamous tag as dealers.  The wife told me that the old woman was telling everyone that we sold drugs.  I couldn’t believe it.  Nor could I believe that we had moved into an area so chatty.  I asked why would she think this?  And I was told because we had so many cars.  Un be lievable.  We went from just C and I to living in a 4 generational home and we were drug dealers.  I was pissed and I told her so.  She said not to worry, the old woman was half-baked and a gossip.  But, people tend to believe something that they’ve heard, over and over.  Time goes on.

Every summer there is a block party.  Every summer we receive an invitation, and every summer I am too sick to go on that particular day.  C went the first two years then this year, I was so sick he stayed home to help me.  A week before the block party one of the women who was helping to organize it came to our door to see if we were going.  My mother was over and answered the door and told her that we wouldn’t, that I was ill and the woman asked if it was because of my lupus.  Whaaaa? So somehow the whole neighborhood knows that I am sick.  They are misinformed, but that’s beside the point.  I can’t stand knowing that everyone knows or believes they know my business.  Ever since that block party, the house behind us keeps the blinds to their back rooms open.  They always had them closed for privacy as our backyard completely backs up to 2 of their bedroom windows.  It’s a tight squeeze.  I feel like I have no privacy at all and I can’t stand that.  Our yard is long and narrow with the narrow part being front to back.  When I am really sick I go outside, especially to cry.  I don’t like anyone seeing me cry, and now I have the neighbors watching me.  Wonderful.  Why does she watch me?  And what is she thinking?  And why do I care?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that I am used to living in an area where people kept mostly to themselves, and now we are in a tight community where jaws flap and lips tell stories that are based on nothing but the ramblings of a nosy old woman.

I feel violated.  Is that silly?  All I know is, when I am hurting really bad and I need a place to go that is away from my family and is in my own yard, I am being watched and it bothers me.  I need a place to cry, to pray, to pull myself back together without eyeballs watching every movement.  That’s it.   What a long vent huh?

Until next time~

Oh yeah, I got a new camera; a Nikon D60, and I’ve taken some pretty cool shots if I do say so myself.  I’m going to post a couple in my Happy Snaps. Check em out and tell me what you think!  Only if it’s good though.  Lie if you must.  Ok, until next time

8 thoughts on “A little privacy please

  1. Oh, I also had those “Stop the car I have to take some pictures” moments! LOL. I love taking nature photos, too, especially because where I live, I see the beauty of nature unfolds every single day.

    Thanks for your Thanksgiving wish. Though we don’t have Thanksgiving Day in my country, I do appreciate your wish very much. Anyway, Thanksgiving Day is in the heart and I believe that every day is Thanksgiving Day 🙂

  2. Nortehanon,
    Thank you so much! I love love love taking pictures of anything in nature. And i was very happy with the result of that shot too. We were on our way back from a doctor’s appointment and I was like “stop the car!!!!!” LOL It was a beautiful evening. OK, Im late on responding to you so I’m going to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy it:)
    Michelle

  3. There is no comment section in Happy Snaps so I am writing my comment here 🙂 I just wanted to say I love the shot you took of the trees 😉

    Be safe and be well. Have a fun weekend.

  4. Hey sweet Az,You are too kind my dear, thanks for the compliments. You should see me now though-at 7 am I am FAR beautiful or attractive, LOL. My neighbor gets to see me with bed-head and all.
    love you kiddo
    Michelle

  5. I sure didn’t want you to feel invaded Sherril!! 🙂 I’ve thought about putting some makeshift higher fencing in the back, but you know what that would start, property lines and what belongs to who…ugh. I’m just going to go about my business and cry if I want to!
    Thanks for stopping by 🙂
    hugs,
    Michelle

  6. .. when it comes to think about it Michelle, people tend to talk about outstanding people and you being beautiful and atractive, everyone tend to focus on your issue.And the funny thing about this is..we thought asians are nosey!

    big kiss and hope you feel better xoxo
    Az

  7. You write about your privacy invasion so eloquently that I feel invaded too! What a drag. We have a covered, screened in deck with trees behind but I remember before we had all that, the lady behind us who is very nice but a gossip nonetheless caused me to stop going outside and talking to her because I knew if she was telling me the stuff she was telling me about other people, she would be telling other people about my stuff. Hope you can figure a way to be in your own yard privately!

Talk to me! :)

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