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Day: May 7, 2010

Depressed and optimistic, is that possible?

Depressed and optimistic, is that possible?

 

I have dropped off the radar again.  Not intentionally;  the days just seem to meld into one long day, and I’ve been so sick, time is getting away from me.  I haven’t talked to my best friend in at least a month.  Again, not intentionally.  I’ve written so many ‘I’m sorry’ emails in the past, I just don’t know what to say anymore.  I feel extrememly guilty about isolating, but at the same time, I can’t seem to stop.  I had a horrible realization a few days ago, and it was-I make it through each day and try and get well enough to make it to my next doctor visit.  I actually missed my last one.  I couldn’t get out of bed so C went and picked up my prescriptions.  This is no way to live, I feel powerless to change it.

Between non-stop flaring and being a momma, I have no time for anything anymore.  Facebook, my Christian groups, Flickr, television, nada.  For those who aren’t computer-heads it’s not much of a big deal, but the computer has become part of my life since becoming ill.  It’s my ticket out into civilization, lol.

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