It’s late and I have to get up so early tomorrow for a meeting with the Bean’s teachers and the school district. Her specialized pre-school is separate from the school even though physically it is located in the school. So-Bean had to be tested all over again to see if she qualifies for special education for kindergarden. It’s times like these that make me remember that she IS special-needs. And I get sad. She is such an amazing little girl. I think, gosh, I wish she was ‘normal’, whatever that means. Not so it would be easier for us, but life would be so much easier for her. I haven’t thought much about the future when it comes to her, I have just been enjoying her each day. But I spoke with someone today who asked me about our relationship, and how I came to be raising her and I found that telling the story out loud really hurt. I cried. I cried for her, and for my daughter. Sometimes life feels so overwhelming, you can’t even begin to think about how you are going to make it through another day, and then you have those days where you are so happy, you can’t even believe you ever doubted yourself. Does any of this even make any sense? Probably not. Im just coming out of a really hard flare, my mind is all cobwebby.
Alright. I”m off to sleep land. Until next time,