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What’s AAAAAaaahp!

What’s AAAAAaaahp!

Another year has gone by without me blogging. Not once people! I think if I’m going to keep writing (and I should) this blog has to evolve, because I have. 😉 I’m now 10 years in to the spoonie/chronic/wtf lifestyle and life is much different than it was in 2007. Matter of fact everything has evolved in these last 10 years. Seems like just yesterday I bought one of first cell phones that had a camera in it. My best friend made fun of me because it was really weird looking in the hinge where the phone flipped…yes, flipped. ? I’ve been feeling very nostalgic lately….

This year I’ll be turning the big five o. I was telling Big C the other day, what the hell has happened to the time?! It feels like I’ve been ripped off these past 10 years. Everyone says the 40’s are the best years! You’re kids are grown or are close to leaving the nest so you have more freedom, you’ve worked your ass off to get where you are in your career (so hopefully you’re not living paycheck to paycheck like in your 20’s and 30’s even) you might be done with apartment living in and your own home….etc. But I feel like I was robbed. I got sick when I was 39 and my entire 40’s was filled with sickness, pain, anxiety, fear, and suffering. Those things kinda put a damper on recognizing and living in the moment. It’s kinda hard to explain, but I don’t feel that I’ve grown as a person, I feel like I should be turning 40 instead of 50, but it is what it is. 😉

This last year I’ve said goodbye to a few friends after the fact, as they passed quickly and unexpectedly. We all know that we’ve got a greater chance of dying before we hit old age due to disease, but when it happens it’s still such a great shock. I miss them like crazy. It’s brought me to a place where I’m thinking about my own mortality. Would I be happy with my life as I lived it if I died today? No. So I’m making some changes. I’m trying to be more present. Trying to get a little more healthy; changing the things I can control.

Aight. I’ll be back. Baby steps…

 

I’m baaaack

I’m baaaack

Hey there. My brother has informed me that it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted anything…I’m back! This past year has been LONG, eventful, stressful, awful, wonderful….etc. but I still couldn’t write anything. I don’t know if I was thinking too much or what, but every time I sat down and wrote I ended up deleting it. But I’m back. For good. A life long blog! Isn’t that exciting! I forgot how to convey snark. Do you use bold or italic? haha

This is going to be super short and sweet. This is it. A post about nothing. But you gotta start somewhere, right? I’ll be back…

I got into signature making….:D

 

 

It’s been a while…

It’s been a while…

since I’ve posted anything! The bean says that ain’t cool, and you can tell by the goggles-she’s cool.  These last few weeks have been full of flares and sleep.  Not a lot of fun, and sure not postworthy unless I wanted to get on here and whine-aaaaarrrrgh!

I’m gonna whine a little anyway… he he  I did go and get my biopsies done. We had to go to a bigger hospital than what we have here.  It took 5 months to get in to see this neuromuscular surgeon.  So frustrating.  My burning symptoms have just gotten worse and worse, and even though I knew that just by having the punch biopsies done my burning wasn’t going to go away, I was still frustrated.  No one should have to wait 5 months for an appointment.  When the day came I was so nervous I couldn’t eat anything, so by the time we got there I was starving. We were running late because traffic was really heavy and even though we left 2 hours before the appointment and the drive is an hour and a half, we just barely made it on time.  When we got up to the right floor and found the desk, I handed the receptionist this form that they sent me to fill out prior to the appointment.  She stared at me with an expectant look on her face.  “yeesss?” (I blame my rudeness on low blood sugar)  She said “Didn’t you receive the packet we mailed out to you?”  Ah, shit.  It’s five minutes past the appointment time and she says, “Don’t worry.  Just fill out as much as you can so the medical assistant doesn’t get mad.” WTF?  So, she hands me this packet that’s about half as thick as the phone book and I glance to the left of me where another woman was checking in and she was just reaching out to grab the ‘packet’.  Somebody must’ve been sleeping on mail-all-the-packets-out day.  So we found a seat and I started answering a million questions while my stomach rumbled and grumbled.  I didn’t have any addresses for my docs, or fax numbers and such, and then I answered every question pertaining to my health known to man.  I actually finished it and turned it in.  Finally the medical assistant called me back, and she was nice ( I finished my packet) and we got situated in the room.  When the doc came in he looked tired and cranky and he said “So, they forgot about you.  I’ve been sitting in my office reading for the last hour.”  Turns out the front desk forgot to check me in on the computer and me and the doc both were sitting there for an hour.  Me frantically filling in questions and him reading.  By now I’m so hungry I’m shaky.  So the doc is really cranky and all I can think about is getting the heck out of there so I can eat.  He tells me his partner is going to perfom the biopsies and he leaves the room.  So I’m laying on the table and I’m dreaming of taco bell, jack in the box, biiiig milkshakes, aaaggghhh.  The Doc decides to do them on my left leg because he said that was the worst leg when it came to all of the manual tests-push, pull, poke with a pin, etc.  His partner tells me that she is going to use sterile technique to help ensure no infection will come about.  She says that we have to be careful of infection.  I watch her set up the tray and glove herself and drape me, and what she doesn’t know is that my profession is a medical assistant and had I done that type of sterile technique at work I would have been fired.  It was all wrong!  She leaned her body over the field, no sterile gloves, ugh, and so on.  Oh gawd, I’m already thinking of getting the worst staph infection in the history of, or MRSA or anything completely irrational.  She had me lay on my side and she injected my hip first with a numb-er, I think she said lidocaine, and that hurt like a bitch.  It burned and I squeezed The Big C’s hand and laughed which is what I always do when I’m nervous..it’s like a nervous tic only way more socially unacceptable.  The rest I couldn’t see from my vantage point but C said it was way cool.  This little tool she pushed up against my skin and twisted and twisted. Then she pulled it out and used teeny tiny tweezers and scissors to grab it and put it in a jar.  She did the same on my lower leg above my ankle which burned a million times worse than the hip area.  When I asked her why she said because there is less fat there, more fat up on my hip.  Thanks.  That was it.  She bandaged me up and told me not to get it wet for 3 days.  It was 100 degrees that day and I needed a shower.  So we did alot of taping so I could take cool showers.  End of story.  It has been WAY too long since I blogged.  My next post with be shorter and sweeter 🙂  I miss the blogoshpere, I’m back baby!!!  I just have to stay out of the depression rut that comes with being in pain for too long of stretches.  Man, it’s a killer.  I’m trying to stay happy even if I have to fake it.  If you walk around smiling, it really does help, even if you look like an idiot, it wards of the blues.  Usually.  Sometimes.  Well, it worked today anyways.  I need to thesaurus the word anyways, I use it too much.  Regardless, I will use that word more often.  BTW, anyways wasn’t in there.  It’s anyway.  sigh.

It’s good to be back, until next time, with no whine!

Arte Y Pico

Arte Y Pico

I want to thank Ms. Chronic Chick of Chronic Chick Talk for this really cool award, the Arte Y Pico award!  She has a really good blog for those of you who are living with Fibromyalgia and Lupus.  She can definitely relate to all of the trials and tribulations of living with chronic illness, and she has a great positive attitude that makes her blog a good read.  Plus, she’s cool and one of my bloggy friends.  Reason enough I say to stop by and say hi to her!

OK, let me see how this works, I’m gonna copy and paste the instructions (yes, lazy I know)


1. Choose five blogs you consider deserving of this award. (Creativity, interesting material, etc.)

2. Each award includes the name of the owner of the blog and his/her link

3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself

4. Award winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award

I’d like to pass this on to:

Sayangku Azura

The Oxygen Chronicles

Dancing With Butterflies

Type A With RA

Living With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

There are so many great blogs out there, it was hard to choose.  I really wanted to give one to you Connie, but I see that mine was yours once removed, or something like that…

Thanks again Chick, I really do appreciate being honored 🙂

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