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I’m Large and in Charge or Duck,Thar She Blows!

I’m Large and in Charge or Duck,Thar She Blows!

There is so much going on with my body I’m just spinning.  My muscles from the waist down go into lockdown mode anytime I lay down.  My superfun pittingedema (say it fast 3 times-it sounds like a Mexican dish) comes and goes, weeeee!  And, the lump that is in the middle of my neck.  Oh man.  We thought it was the beginning of a goiter.  That’s one of the side effects of the new medication that I’m taking.  I was sooo worried that I was going to have a Seinfeld size goiter.  Did you see that episode where Elaine is supposed to be volunteering, helping this old woman and the woman has a goiter the size of a football and she can’t look at her??  Yep.  I feel like it’s that big.  Well, I went to see my PCP.  He examines me.  He feels the lump.  He says, “Uh huh.  It’s fat.”  And I’m like, are you f-ing kidding me?  And he says no, I’m not f-ing kidding you.  Except we both say the f word.  Me because I’m in shock.  I CANT have fatneck!!!!  And him, I think so as to be cool, and be on my side in case I go batshit and start freaking out.  I did a double take in the middle of my ranting when I heard him say the f word.  Doctors don’t do that?  Anyways, I am positive that my stomach is the size of a Thanksgiving turkey because of ascites.  After my legs going tree trunk on me because of edema, I read a ton on it and you can get fluid in your abdominal cavity.  The biggest percentage of this happening is from liver failure, which he is testing me for, but occasionally people with lupus can get it.  He said it was ‘strange’ for me to put on 50 pounds in 2 and a half months.  He is also testing for Cushing’s syndrome. I started reading on that and it sounded too much like me so I stopped for a while.  I’ll read more on that later….  Yeah!  I’m scared.  I feel like I’m just going to keep getting bigger and bigger until I’m floating up to the ceiling…I know I get totally irrational.  But my stomach has never, e v e r been this large and I’ve had 2 kids.  I look ridiculous.  I don’t know what ascites or Cushing’s would mean for me.  I hope and pray my liver is ok.  I have been on steriods for too damn long with this disease.  I don’t know, I’m a wreck.  I think ice cream and a nap with help… 🙂

Until next time~Michelle~

~Check out the monthly animation I have on the bottom left side of the page.  It took forever to get the shot where you can see the trees through the growth on the branch.  When I had to downsize it to fit it on the blog, it makes it harder to see.  Trust me, it looks really cool when the shot is larger.~

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