I’m still here…

I’m still here…

I haven’t posted in a couple of days. I’ve been flaring really hard and sleeping alot. A good friend of mine gave me some some really good advice, “sleep without guilt”. After these last couple of days I think I have mastered that pretty well.

Before I mastered the guiltless sleeping, I would lay down and my mind would roll on and on about all the things that need to get done. Or I would feel like I should be doing something… Why is it that when we are sick we feel guilty about it? After 2 years of living with this disease I still haven’t gotten used to the idea that I am not the same person physically. Little things like getting up and jumping into the shower are no small feat for me. I have to sit up and get my bearings, take my medicine and wait for it to kick in.  What used to be a 20 minute process is now a 2 hour chore.  It pisses me off.  I don’t ask myself why anymore, I’ll never know why I got sick.  I’m still trying to figure out how to live my days without anger.

OK, no more negativity, next post will be happy happy sunshine till you wanna barf.

Talk to me! :)

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