Why, yes he did folks…. I’ve had a busy few days with doctor appointments and sleeping off this cold/flu bug. OK, the title of this post refers to my visit with my chronic pain management doc. He has always said some really random and un-pc things, but this one caught me by surprise. He even slipped in a really tacky reference to Heath Ledger. Here’s how it went…

ME: Yes, I can tell the fentanyl is doing something, I still feel the burn in my legs but it feels muffled. ( I know, I don’t explain things very well)

DOC: OK, well the patch you have on now is a starter dose. So we’ll go up to 50mcg/hr. But I want you to know, YOU COULD DIE.

ME: silent stare, speechless

DOC: Right, so, for the first day or so you should have someone watching you.

ME: Did you say die?

DOC: Right.

ME: Okayy, um, that’s scary. So how should I take my pills then, should I cut down to 1 instead of 3 in the morning so I WON’T DIE.

DOC: No, no, you don’t want to do that. You would probably go into withdrawal.

ME: sigh.

DOC: Alrighty then. (As he’s getting up and walking out the door with me behind him) You’re on a pretty mighty cocktail. We don’t want another Heath Ledger on our hands. (Medical Assistants all look up at me) See you in a month!

I left the office scared to death of my new patch and my impending doom, and also feeling like a drug abuser. Mighty cocktail… not my fault I am in pain 24/7. And he is the one who prescribes the mighty cocktail. It’s not like I even want to take any of this. I would prefer to rewind 2 years and have my old life back…no pain, no illness, no references to Heath Ledger.